24 hrs Escape from Reality

 

Maybe the title gives a clue, 24hrs of escapism, to feel physical pain feels better than being anxious for maybe know reason.

I took on this challenge inspired and also needing to reinvigorate myself, ok nuts way to do it but, well that’s me. My inspiration comes from many places but firstly from representing a charity that truly drives me. I cannot imagine the loss to Ian and family but I can see the response.

I’ve chatted imagea lot with Ian over the last six months and its always the same result, a positive one. That goes for this morning when we spent an hour chewing the fat and catching, both after big events. Ian still doing the unseen tasks of an events Organiser. This following his brilliant tattoo convention, the place I completed by journey at, and met by great people. People the word that matters most potentially in our dictionary.

I watched a video on Saturday of a great guy who last undertook the same challenge, he spoke of his 6 months planning and training and I saw the massage table at stop off’s etc and thought, shit, I ain’t even finished sorting me kit or printing a map. But this is how I roll I people talk of planning making performance but I work to make my daily life with depression and anxiety easier, so my mentality is about taking problems as they come and dealing with them accordingly. I wish I prepped more but I don’t and I always ultimately do!!

The idea came into my head a few weeks ago no more, kinda of thinking that people don’t realize the pain of my walks, why?, well because its caused walking and not running. Distance running seems a tougher cousin so I thought I better find out. Well the result is obviously slightly different but I still feel fecked right now. Difference being that it was one day of constant effort, unlike my walks which are constant efforts for month + with sleep, that is on a 10mm roll may though.

I sat off yesterday and enjoyed a great conversation with Lee & Wayne my great support team about our problems in life and as usual sharing many problems we don’t generally share with others. I’m normally quite calm till the event comes my mind seemingly removing all other problems or doubts. The time for worrying about prep over, the time to embrace every micro challenge nye!!!

I reached Gretna and had the lovely surprise of the Ker family, people who just seem to keep popping up in my life and always in the most positive ways, John & Carol my teachers as a child and what honest fantastic teachers they were, even better friends, then Chris & Lorraine with the kids, my old buddy from Billingham Rufc alongside bro Martin. People who are honest genuine and inspiring through such qualities. I was also met by old pal Ian Salter another rugby player, team mate in our colts days and many time adversary, but as always with rugby , pals can knock shit out of each other
😉

Wow I guess my body is not to happy with me writing this blog, body n mind still wanna rest, it’s amazing how refreshing it feels though for the mind to rest, always say that as much as we think we’ve evolved the reality is we haven’t. The daily stresses of life tougher to me, than that run, yea true.

That’s why charities like Jo and Mya and I hope my own thorough BCT are important as dreaming and bring positive make such a difference. We are living in an age where misery sells, because people get so down that only the misery of others seems to lift them, look at fucking Jeremy Kyle. Sorry for swearing but all of this shit should be removed from our screens , mock celebs who make treating others like shit seem ok. You give it breath , it lives!!!!

I know how it go’s when you start a big challenge, you simply start. Of course it sounds obvious, but it’s the key, just get on with it. Novelty value keeps you going a bit after that, my biggest problem running to fast. Around 9.30 minute or faster first few and trying to physically slow it up. This is where a lack of serious distance running shows, my running regularly is around 10 miles with occasional longer ones and that pace cannot be the same for 100 + miles.

I was lucky to be met by Tanya Dixon after around 13 mile I think. Tanya is a regular runner and local Cumbrian lass, another one inspired by Jo and Mya. It seems funny to meet perfect strangers and then simply run together, but what better way to get to know someone, sharing stories and actually getting some serious lessons on running.

Tanya’s knowledge was simply indispensable, little bits and pieces that probably ultimately helped through, especially the tablets she gave me instead of the energy drinks that started making me feel sick.

One of toughest things with such distance is continually eating & drinking as you have absolutely no desire, whatsoever. The thought of energy gels, isotonic drinks and nuts turns my stomach. The amount of times I little wrestled with a mars or snickers, was vast. This is where support of others is key, the good old piss colour test too, I have to say that throughout the 24hr I never hit that dark orange colour that is worrying, I have felt the pain of dehydration whilst walking and it can be all consuming.

It felt crazy to complete a marathon and it mean nothing. Merely a quarter distance , meaning to get excited, only means setting up a black period to follow.

How bizarre that in normal I float between manic, ok & depression often, but whilst walking /running I have learned to a large level stay as constant as possible. Even as the end got closer, knowing that I cannot let the focus go or the body will severely bite back. I think that was till 2 mile to go, when I finally relaxed.

As I was left for the first time by Tanya and after clocking more miles than expected to get where I was, the vibe changed. The site of the A68 and realization that it was not for running meant a vast and difficult detour, running very steep banks, time after time. The energy they took was vast indeed and ok with hindsight the route wasn’t the most sensible for an amateur distance runner to attempt. But fair play to Wayne and Lee for keeping the job going and adapting on the hoof as required.

As darkness fell I understood what other distance runners had told be prepared for it to get tough, it came and I felt a little sorry for Wayne on the bike, it just isn’t the not having a runner with you, I simply tried to focus on the bike rear light and drift off, zoning out. We had changed tack and neither of us knew how far we would have to go, it was stressful as I had nothing to focus on, to help me break the task down.

The evening took a lift when joined by Anth Hyndman, a tough cookie, who I knew would just keep going and that he did for a monstrous spell. It helped for a time when I gain I seemed to run easy, well easier for another few mile. It’s funny how the first half marathon was knocked off with ease, then it became more and more about every mile being a battle won, can you imagine not even being half way and with 55 miles to go in the dark.

At this point I was given another lift with the arrival of the Wilks clan. My old friends from Scotland, with Jack who walked Scotland at the tender age of 12, now a strapping young man. It lifted my spirits once more, sadly stopping times become shorter and shorter, without getting off my feet and had to quickly say good bye. But this is an amazing thing with charity/endurance groups, people all support each other, friends are made for life in the matter of a day together. Why? Because the depth of the experiences shared is so deep it always stays vivid and fresh.

I finally got to Hexham and it felt good, however I was really beginning to struggle, each mile became an onslaught, even if lifted by the arrival of Neil Turnbull another guy not met yet in the flesh, till sharing the road together. I listened a lot to the conversations between Anth & Neil and took solace in their company. Another few miles done before a stage of walking began that lasted a few hours, merely moving became a struggle, nothing could realize my muscles from the iron grip the lactic acid had took. On reflection and after a massage at the roadside from Toni Carroll I wonder what difference a physio or masseur may have made through that period, well we’ll never know.

I climbed into the car outside Stocksfield and the Lee said that to balance up the miles done earlier he was going to take me past consett to make sure I still finished at Thornaby as the extra miles would result in me finishing short of their for the same distance. I rested in the car and actually ate a McDonald’s breakfast wrap, quickly speaking to Emma from consett who had supported and helped advising on the route in that area.

I really couldn’t imagine another marathon plus at that point and was so tired. I knew the moment would come when I’d be again evicted from the car for the road. The arrival of Craig Symington seemed to lift me just enough, I’m not sure if pride lifts you just a little when knew arrivals come but we began to once more step on , if not slowly. We got running before once again, walking some massive hills that were simply horrible. Craig’s gentle “Come on let’s run” was well timed and again I felt like you do when a sportsmen and a coach says how it is, you respect it and do your best. Pace was slow, at first the arms run, whilst the legs resist, but slowly bit by bit they begin to take the follow and heels gain just a millimeter of air between them and the ground. A few miles would follow before I once again hit what can only be described as my legs, just simply turning to stone. It didn’t seem like a mental choice to stop, just simply bang. A walk was then bloody tough but again with support I kept creeping onwards. At this point I had know care of time, only clawing my way home.

I knew once I hit station town and the old railway track to the a689 that I would complete the journey, even walking. Again Craig and Anth lifted me to run a couple of miles before locking up once more.

As we crept forward began to tell me that the time was on if I could find the energy, to get running once again. We hit the A689 and again the arms swing, hoping legs with follow some time soon. It was painfully slow but gradually I felt like I was smelling home. Me old mate Ste Harrison on his bike again lifted the pride to keep moving and then the beep of another mate Warnesy, lifted me up.

As greeted in Wolviston by a great group of people and it revitalized me completely. Even better a massage by Toni Carroll , who has kindly also offered me a recovery one at Jolene Innovations tomorrow, which is much needed. Again my legs felt like just maybe they could run and joined by half a dozen others , I felt the need to keep going, now in serious company. Time wise the deal was simple Symo informed me, run properly for 6 miles and make it on time. I clawed the first couple away before sportsmen’s pride took over. Goading myself for a big finish, to finish faster than I had started. Like a big game there is now nothing to keep back , nothing to save, lay it all on the line. Boom 9.30 followed, by 9 minute, followed by an 8 as I almost sprinted i to the Thornaby aerodrome club. A met by friends and family , it was over , I had done it.

I got a terrific welcome and as usual was a reluctant recipient of praise from people. I said a few words of thanks, which quite honestly I struggle to recall as I think I was already going into switch off mode.

I thanked Ian and crew and headed away for a parmo and bed, as usual supported by my amazing other half.

Thanks to all the runners, supporters and especially Wayne and Lee, I intend on writing up my thoughts properly once recovered. Unsurprisingly I feel like shit right now and just wanted to right this before sleep.

Please , please donate at

https://www.justgiving.com/BCT-Aspire/

Paul x.