The Journey & First Evening
Well I’m here and as I sit here to attempt to get back into the habit of writing on my netbook and I am Monaco, well technically Beau-Soleil which is the outskirts of Monaco as there is no defined border. It is still as surreal experience indeed.
My day yesterday was unbelievably relaxed and stress, mainly down to one family, Sue & later Claire. Sue was coincidence visiting her mother who lives in Billingham. Having lived in France & Monaco for a very long time offered to help me out. A friend of friend seems to be my world quite a lot and I must Steven Louth & his Mam for arranging it with Sue.
It was lovely to be able to firstly have a friendly face and conversation on the plane and to find out more about the culture locally and some of the things I may come across in the country. I can’t thank Sue enough for taking the time to help me and finishing by showing to the correct bus stop from the airport to get to Monaco.
I know in part I have come away to reassess my life and what is important after what has been another struggle of a year. Basically through my choice of lifestyle which is basically running a small social enterprise. One week to the next we fight on but things seem to happen that make me question myself and my motivation.
I have used the term “Cheap man’s priory” a lot recently when I speak about the walk and it really feels like that. My brain seems to whirl ever faster and have reached a point where I am no longer aware if I ever shut off for any length of time.
Stepping away from England and Teesside gives me the chance to look at my life from outside it’s usual constraints and hopefully say and think the things I truly believe.
Playing the game, the fabulous bully shitty game that many of us play on a daily basis. Well I ain’t sure the game is for me and whether I have the stomach. For anyone who wonders the significance of my ramblings you make work it out over time or I may be quite frank in my writing.
By focusing on survival and getting home, I know I can be no longer worried about the things that usually take up head space. Simple tasks that take on new meaning, eating, sleeping, drinking, taking care of my body. That is on top of the new problems such as communicating and finding money or support.
I am sure through my walk I often meet likeminded people and on arrival in Monaco I was met by Claire my host whilst in the area. I have had the pleasure of talking to Claire a couple of times on the phone and it is amazing how relaxed I felt and feel right now from having a nice evening and talking about everything and nothing, without the daily baggage. Seeing other people’s worlds and cultures fascinates me greatly and I can never see myself being a sun lounger kind of a guy. To be able to step into another place and see the world through someone else’s eyes is an amazing experience
I hope that any of the young people I work of possibly read that last statement and realize that the world is there for everyone and a little bit of initial courage to take you out of your comfort zone is all it takes.
I am probably fearful deep down but also massively, almost child like excited for what is to come. I am remember as a child exploring the farmers fields out the back of my house, including the garden decorated with great lights from http://glowdecoration.com/. As we crept field by field feeling like we were in another world. Sleeping out under the star’s like we were real rebels. Well that feeling has probably left me and I guess my sights are now a little bit more than a few fields but as long as I am excited once again the hard work will be a bi-product.
I am intending on venturing out in to Monaco and having an explore for the day. Testing out my GPS and also my simple French skills. I am really nervous about this area, but like anything just getting in there and backing yourself is usually the best approach. I have no idea who I will meet on my travels or the reception I will get but hopefully using the same skills, friendliness and openness will conquer any barriers that I may face.
I always read books of adventure since being young and probably wondering why I didn’t join the army or the forces. The tales from far flung worlds seemed unbelievable; well this is my attempt at adventure and in my own style.
Taking on my mind is my challenge and the one that intrigues and bemuses me in equal measures. How can we achieve so much and then worry about so little. Increasing my comfort zone seems to be my mission even still and attempting to face many of my demons that still exist.
I must take the time to write about Jody, my long suffering partner. I can’t believe the support she has given and continues to give me. I ask so much and give so little at times, helping others and probably always getting the balance wrong. I have lived with Glynis Jody’s Mam for the last few months and cannot say a big enough thank you. Continuing to back me in everything I do, for the sake of my dream. Possibly a selfish one, that asks to much of those who are closest to me.
Through this walk I have no doubt that I will answer many of the questions that need to put to bed to move on with my life.
My Mam told me the other day that my leaving date was the same on as the last time my Granddad completed the Lyke Wake Walk at the age of 65 I think. This is something that brings a smile to my face and I know that my Fred supports still just as he did through all of my life. I cannot believe that I am actually shedding a happy tear at the thought of him and what he achieved. His values (my values) give me the strength to push myself and probably never realizing how hard something is !!!
When you don’t see hard work as just that and as something different it is amazing how far your mind and body will let you go.
I have struggled to write for so long at home and I am happy to report for my own simple pleasures that my hands once again seem to lead themselves. Whether anything I say is coherent is another matter.
Right time to start working out my route, haha yes that’s right I haven’t got a fucking clue where I am go yet. But heho it’s tomorrow and not today and that is time enough in my world.
LABOR OMNIA VINCIT
Au Revoir
A bientot
